A reflection of my current life

 I've fallen far behind in my blogging in the past while and when I've gone on to catch up, I've been unable to attach my photos. Not wanting things to get completely out of order, I have decided to start writing here instead. I am home alone today - unexpectedly. Brendon is in Athabasca cleaning up a house that was left in a terrible state by a renter who broke her lease and getting it ready for the next person who is still willing to live in the little old house that we bought as our first home back in 2003 - 20 years ago!! 

Aliya is currently living in Lac La Biche and has agreed to meet him in Athabasca today to help with the cleaning. This is a good fit since she is between jobs and a little bit of extra money is, of course, always welcome. Aliya found out just this week that she passed her paramedic licensing exam and so is hopeful that she will secure a job as a paramedic in Bonnyville very soon. She is currently living with her partner, Ash. As I type that, a flood of emotions fill me. As a Jesus-follower, I do not agree with a homosexual lifestyle; nor do I believe in the idea of non-binary gender identity. I believe strongly that God created people as male or female and their gender is a direct reflection of their genetalia. As such, there is definitely tension in our relationship with Aliya and we are not totally certain how to treat this relationship that she is in. She has requested that Ash (whom we have not yet met) join us for family Christmas. On the one hand, I have always been open to anybody joining us at our table and in our home. On the other hand, there are a few things that we hold as solely for family: making ornaments, opening boot gifts, picking names. Aliya is arguing that Daniel and Tanis were dating a shorter period of time than she and Ash have been together before he was welcomed to family Christmas. This is, of course, different in the sense that we were not morally opposed to Daniel joining our family. Based on Biblical principals, Ash can never be a part of our family; however, she can be a very good friend. I am not sure if this is good enough for Aliya. Additionally, of course, we have young kids at home still (14, 16) and do not wish to muddy the waters of moral and Biblical teaching by welcoming a sinful lifestyle into our home. This is a difficult path to navigate and one that I feel I do not have adequate wisdom to do on my own.

We were in Calgary last week where we were helping Brendon's parents declutter their very large home as they consider downsizing with his Dad's fairly recent diagnosis of dementia. At almost 80 years old, he has quite recently become much less energetic, or opinionated and it has become a challenge for Mom to keep their home up. One small way that I have found to help out is that when we go down, I help to declutter one space and get rid of the things that Mom no longer wants or needs - either by putting them on a pile for one of her kids to take the next time they are in town, or by bringing to the thrift store. Anyway, we were in Calgary doing some of that last week and Daniel and Tanis (recently married, July 3) drove all the way to surprise us!! First they surprised us by arriving (Brendon knew they were coming) and then they surprised us by telling us that they are having a baby. We will be grandparents at 45, the Lord willing and all goes well with this pregnancy. Poor Tanis is very sick and not enjoying her work very much at all right now. Unfortunately, she needs to go to work every day still as Daniel is still getting his software engineer company (Evolve Digital) off the ground. We are praying that the baby will be healthy and develop well, that Tanis will feel better soon, and that Daniel will be able to make the necessary contacts to secure some great contracts for his business. 

Back in our home, we have just started the new school year. Kaylin is in Grade 12 and is coming face to face with a HUGE workload. This semester is Social Studies, Biology AND Chemistry. Her science teacher has told the class to expect 4 hours of homework per night per class... I am not sure how this is even physically possible?!?! In addition, she is on the Senior Women's Volleyball team, she works as a Lead Coach (newly promoted) for Little Kickers a few times per week, and of course, we have some expectations on her just regarding family life around here, too. On top of that, she is suffering with the worst menstrual cramps ever 2+ days every month. We are on the search for a doctor to help with that but in the meantime, it is certainly adding to her stress. 

Silas is entering grade 9 and seems to be doing well. He was sad to not get into the same class as his buddy Isaac, but has already met a new friend (Jonah) in his new class. He is pretty determined to do really well academically this year as he has heard that this is the beginning of where it really matters. On top of academics, he has been chosen to be co-captain for his school's junior high soccer team this year and he's talking about joining cross-country as well. He and Isaac both also signed up to join a recreational ball hockey league where he'll be playing most Saturdays. He is still enjoying his Moped which he rides regularly to school when his and Kaylin's schedules don't match up... not sure what we'll do about that once the cold weather starts. 

In other very exciting news, Brendon's application to become a captain with Flair Airlines just got accepted! This is exciting because he is definitely captain material but also honestly because it will take some financial pressure off for us. I know that Brendon doesn't love this job as much as he loved working as a medevac pilot in Lac La Biche with Alberta Central Airways; however, this move happened and I'm so proud of him for making the most of it. He is excited to be given the chance to fly a jet, I know, and we've been thankful so far at how often he is home at night! 

And then there's my work. I love the work that I do; however, I do not love being away from home and the kids (especially after work) so much. This year I have committed to working in Saint Paul once per week (I think I will see 7 kids there on Mondays), at the office for a late night on Tuesdays (noon-8pm) and Wednesdays 9-3. Unfortunately, this month, Brendon seems to be working every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday too! Oh well, two days per week isn't terrible to have them home alone after school (or that's what I'm telling myself) and I will get to go to all games that are on Wednesdays-Saturday. To accomodate all of the working, we have subscribed to Hello Fresh, a delivery service that brings us receipes and all the ingredients for three nights per week. So far, this has been great and we'll keep up with that for a bit to see if this helps with getting everything done. 

Phew. That's a lot. And that's not even peeking at extended family, church, friends, etc. Life is full right now. Full mostly with very wonderful and amazing blessings. We are so grateful, so blessed, and sometimes so confused. Confusion and tension right now comes from Aliya's sexual identity/orientation, wanting to but not affording to get out of rental houses, me working more hours than desired (especially when the kids are home), aging parents, wanting to spend time with Daniel and Tanis but struggling to make time around Kaylin and Silas's schedules, living in a construction zone (we do not have any grass or even a deck on the brand new house that we are leasing until next summer)...

Ultimately, we're good. our marriage is strong, we have open relationships (I think) with all four kids, we enjoy time with all of them quite regularly, we have good jobs, our kids are mostly healthy, etc. I'm just using this space to clear some of my thoughts, brag about my kids' achievements, and be honest about our struggles. Maybe nobody will ever read it...